 Day one of the Summer holidays and what does this teach me? Well, when I set myself an agenda for how I am to feel, this seems to just fall by the wayside after a while, when the guards drop. Let me give you an example. I awoke and immediately braced myself for a day of children, full on children. I thought, I must remain calm, I must be patient, I must be zen! So, all morning I thought... Wow, I am doing well, this isn't so bad. The poor kids were stuck in the flat while I waited for a delivery, so by lunchtime, things were getting slightly louder than I could cope with... But, on the day went, and through my gritted smile, I asked if they could tidy their room? Now, what follows was the interesting bit. In my asking of this request, my thoughts were, "they hate tidying up, they will fight, and it will go horribly wrong". So, my expectation was extremely negative. I went downstairs to finish off something I was doing, and it was all rather peaceful upstairs. Half an hour later I walked into their room to see how it was all going, and it was like a bomb had gone off. Everything, absolutely everything from the whole room had been pulled into a pile into the middle of the floor. And they look up and say " Erm, we need some help!"... So, I then say I'll help... and start tidying, sorting and putting away, while they just bugger off down stairs... Whilst I am tidying and sorting I am resenting every second... This resentment and anger seems to be building up until I see red, and turn into a madwoman, exclaiming how I cannot believe that a nine and eight year old have no concept or clue of how to tidy up... And how they just take me for granted, and how I am not their slave, and how it's not fair that I have to do everything, and how selfish they are... On and on... Until silence fell over the whole place. I then felt awful. The boys were very sorry, and I think I learned that all I need to do is offer them more and more opportunity to be more independent and do things for themselves, as they are totally capable. I'm not saying I need to run the home like a boot camp, but a few sharing jobs and responsibilities wouldn't go amiss. I need to remember that by doing things for an easy life is an illusion, as the ease now, will only perhaps turn into difficulty later. Finally, it is interesting how the lessons are delivered through my thoughts - so I thought that this would go wrong, and when it did, I got angry, and then through the wrongness, there came an insight, emerged the rightness. So, all in all - a great day! |
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