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Giving up or going Towards?

02/22/2012 13:14:00

As we begin the Christian period of Lent, a 40 day window leading up to Easter Day in which we are given an opportunity to devote each day to committing to giving a negative up, or reaching for a more positive. What are you going to do? You don't have to be a follower of the Christian faith to make this commitment, you just have to be a human being experimenting with the choices you make on a daily basis.

They say it takes 21 days to break a negative habit or pattern of behaviour, so this is a good opportunity to use this time to experiment on whether you can see if you can survive 40 days without something that does not serve you positively any more, or replace the "something" with something new, and, hopefully by the end of it you will have accomplished an achievement. Big or small, it doesn't matter, it's a change for the better, and this positive change is something that we can celebrate.

Commitment is such a loaded word with huge connotations of denial, or loss of liberty or freedom. We shy away from commitment as we may feel that it's too demanding or it will be something that will not increase value into our lives, or we will be stuck and imprisoned and obligated. But, hang on, if these thoughts go through your mind on hearing the word commitment, I suggest that you have a think about who is making the commitment and ask yourself what the motivation is behind it?

If I commit to something that I know will bring a positive value, then I know that this will energise me, but if I feel I am making a commitment to deny myself something out of guilt or resentment, or even martyrdom, then this certainly will not increase the joyful flow into my life.

Do not do anything out of duty or obligation without asking yourself the question of why does this duty or obligatory gesture not feel joyful? Then sit with the answer that comes up for you, and then ask again, can I turn it into a joyful action and allow the duty aspect to fall away. This is always an empowering moment when we remember that we are always in charge of our choices, of our thoughts, of our actions, and always in control of our lives, and we can use this reflective time to celebrate the choice we have. The freedom of thought. We choose our thoughts, and not the other way round.

Thought, leads to inspiration, which leads to action, which leads to change. Enjoy the transformation from your chrysalis to a beautiful butterfly and grow your wings. You have forty days to learn to fly.

Love is...

02/14/2012 09:56:00

Love is... Given and received in many different ways. Through words, simply the three magic words of "I love you" can be enough, or a simple gesture or thought about another expressed in a loving action. Maybe a gift or a token towards the one you love is an expression of your sentiment. Whether it's words, actions, gifts or kindness, we are all able to give and receive this sentiment every day, as much or as little as we allow in and out.

We are reminded today on Valentines Day of the most common expression of love through Romantic Relationships, but there are so many more expressions that we must also remember: Parental love, friendship, compassion, loving thy neighbour, agape love, unconditional love, love for your pets, love for those passed over, loving the unborn child, and the sleeping babe in arms... Loving nature, the planet that holds us, loving the space we reside in, the person we see reflected back at us in the mirror. Loving what is, and what isn't. Love for the lessons and growth we experience every moment, and the energy that surrounds us. Loving the magical gifts of life.

Enjoy expressing your heart felt feelings today, and everyday, and use the reminder today that Love is everywhere, it is in the air all around us every moment. Just open your eyes wider, remove the filters, unfold the petals of your heart to accept and give the gift of love when ever and wherever you can:

A touch, a kindness, a smile, a nod, a gesture, a token, a sentiment, a kiss, a hug, an expression and an acknowledgement. Let it in, and allow it out, this is what makes our world go round. I love you, and know that you are loved more than you can ever imagine.

My sacred journey within.

01/06/2012 20:15:00

I went to sleep last night in floods of tears. The last thing I shouted out into the empty still darkness was "WHERE THE F*@K ARE YOU GOD?"

I have been through a hugely challenging time in the last 2 years, I have separated from my husband of fifteen years, moved out of my family home. I am totally self sufficient and now live on my own half the week then with my two children the other half. I have recently lost my mother from liver cancer, having lost my father from leukaemia several years back. Two weeks after my mother's passing, my grandmother also passed away. During this time, I was also in another new relationship with a new partner, which also fell apart.

All these harsh endings and all this loss has shaken me, like a massive earthquake. The overwhelming grief has come at me like a tsunami, almost engulfed me in a tidal wave of raw emotions. It's overwhelming, it's shockingly scary, it's lonely, it's sad. I am angry, guilty, in denial. These intense feelings are the recognised stages of grief, and I know that I must to surf the waves of grief, or else I will drown in the sea of pity. I am a survivor. I will not drown. This is the time for me to heal, to mend, to find the resources necessary for my own earth to be rebuilt and re-established. This is why through this adversity, loneliness, darkness and isolation, I can only seek solace in the only thing that cannot leave me, cannot die on me and will always be with me. This is myself. This is my own inner spirit who has been quietly and patiently waiting to be my only companion on my journey ahead.

The journey is an inner one, a deep exploration into my own soul. Who am I? Or rather who am I not? Where can I find this inner happiness, peace, bliss, joy, love that we are told resides within us all? This is my own personal journey into myself. It's a heroes journey, and it starts with the intention.

I am ready to face this journey now and take this challenge of a lifetime. "Feel the fear and do it anyway", is a popular spiritual teaching that pops into my head as I write this. I am definitely feeling the fear, and I am finding my feet on terrain that is unpredictable, uncertain, uncharted. It feels like I am learning to balance on a wobbly jelly. This is a journey in to no-man's (or woman's) land. Nobody has ever walked this path before. This is my path to walk, and mine alone. I cannot bring a friend, a guide or a helper. I have to simply trust that all I need will be provided for as and when I need it.

It feels like one of those computer games, where you go on a mission to accomplish a task, and you are tested, challenged, dissuaded, misinformed, misguided, thrown, banished. All you have to complete your mission, are the tools that randomly pop up for you to use and you need to be ultra aware with heightened sensitivity at all times. It's a dangerous place, but if you have your wits about you and your senses sharpened, you will defeat and conquer, push through the pain, get through the darkness, and accomplish the task. The only difference is, there is no pause button, no reset, no cheats. This is the game of life, and it's one battle that you have to fight all on your own.

All sacred texts, spiritual teachings and wise gurus and sages tell us that God is within, so, I am now on my mission and inner journey to find him.

I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, following a yellow brick road, only my road isn't a solid surface, it's definitely not yellow, and I don't have a cute dog running along beside me. And I most certainly don't have any ruby slippers on. All I have is my faith, my trust, my intention, my willingness, my calling to leap, or tentatively step into the unknown. Apparently, I am told that even though I cannot bring a friend with me to hold my hand and support me, if I take the first tentative step off the solid, physical surface into the dark void, there will actually be a guide waiting, an angel, a well wisher. A spiritual satnav, if you like. This is a comforting thought.

Well, the time has come for me to put my trust and faith to the test. Wish me luck!

God, here I come.

The Transformation

12/09/2011 18:01:00

The Transformation

What is this thing we call death? What does it mean? If we really think about it can we even justify the word in it's literal meaning? Surely when one thing “dies” another thing takes it's place immediately. Like, when a plant withers away it leaves the “dead' leaves, but the nutrients still remain in the seed and if we allow nature take it's course, the plant will re emerge in it's own time. Death is a temporary passing, a fading away, or loss of “what was”... Making room for the “what is”.

It's a change of state, a shift into another place perhaps. Take the example of the most wonderful process of metamorphosis – the 'death' of the caterpillar.

A little caterpillar lives her life crawling around through the undergrowth, munching her way through the leaves, the plants, the soil, the vegetation, the fruit, whatever foliage she comes across. This is her primary function, to eat, to grow and to gain energy. The little caterpillar does not seem to interact with any other caterpillar, or have much of a life other than one of sheer indulgence and devastation. It's function just seems to be to devour, to engulf as much as she can, day after day, after day. One day, the not so little caterpillar stops. She has almost eaten herself to death. She needs a pause, a break, a rest, to digest several lifetimes worth of nutrients. She needs to go to sleep, wrapping herself up in her cozy silky sheet, round and round, cocooning herself away from the wind and the rain, the cold and the frost. The soft blanket surrounds this caterpillar through the winter, and keeps her warm safe and dry.

But, what is happening? Is the caterpillar dying? Does the caterpillar know that this is the end of life as she knows it? Did she make her necessary preparations and plans for the end of her life, or is she just doing what comes naturally and going with the natural flow of her instinct?

In this soft and secure cocoon, while she sleeps and rests, there is a change taking place, a shift, an evolution, a metamorphosis. Like the safe cocoon of the mothers womb, where an egg meets with a tiny tadpole of a sperm, and cells multiply, grow and over some time, transform a foetus into a fully developed human form. A form that has the capacity to think, imagine, dream, manifest. A being so evolved and magical that if we were to really think about it, we would be in constant wonder and amazement. The caterpillar emerges, one day. Breaking out of the soft duvet, the shell of the past, feeling the sunshine and warmth on her new form. She has transformed from a little worm-like grub to a beautiful creature, a creature with delicate and colourful wings, a miracle of nature, of beauty, of sheer wonder. This is the ultimate fairy princess makeover. The ugly grub turns around to discover she can fly, with wings so captivatingly delicate and breathtaking. The butterfly is born. This magical and natural evolution has taken place, and shows us a physical example of an incredible transformation, and certainly not a death. All that has died is the memory of what was, and what has taken it's place is the evolved version of what was. And, so the cycle continues. The moment the caterpillar realises it can fly, there is a pause, a hesitation, a flicker of fear, a leap of faith. She uses her natural born instincts to take off, to fly up, to soar into the sky, reaching new heights and dimensions that it could only dream of before. She is free, free to fly, she doesn't look back and ever wish she were a caterpillar again. The caterpillar hasn't died, it has been reborn.

Death as we know it is in fact a rebirth into another state.

Who is dying? This is another question that comes up for me as I am sitting next to my mother in her final days of life on earth as she knows it. Is my mother dying? Is it her role that is dying? Is it the attachments I have to her that are dying? I sit here in quiet contemplation for a few days as she fades away from us. Her spirit is slipping away, her soul, the essence of who she is, her personality, her energy. She is leaving her caterpillar behind which is the shell that carried her spirit around for the years she inhabited it. This shell is not her, this is just the vehicle she chose to drive. Many of us are so conditioned to believe that the vehicles we drive are actually who we are, when in fact it's a temporary enclosure that allows us to do what we need to do, like a grub on the earth, munching our way through life, devouring our environments and eating ourselves to death. One day, there will come a time, as it did with my mother, where she went to sleep. She wrapped herself up in her silky soft duvet and rested.

She went to sleep, and as her earthly breath subsided, she turned around and realised she had the most beautiful angel wings, and she was able to take off, leave this dimension and fly, fly so high, soar into freedom, into a magical space, a place that gave her liberty to be her authentic self, her special self, her higher self. She flew into unconditional love, into divine light, into the arms of loved ones crossed over before, into the bosom of Angels who were dancing with her spirit, her essence, her true beauty. She flew into wonder, the magic of creation, of destruction, of power, she flew into a place of total acceptance, of love, of bliss, of joy, of happiness, of wisdom.

How can we possibly call this a 'death'? She flew into 'life', and left death behind. This is why we left on earth call it a death, because, we are left with the empty shell, which is the reminder of death. But the caterpillar and my mother didn't die, they simply experienced a metamorphosis and were reborn into the truth of what they really are.

And so it continues, we will also continue to munch our way through life, until we know it's time to stop. The transformation awaits us all. The gift of wings.

Dipti Tait

9 December 2011

Daily Angel Message

09/20/2011 12:32:00

Become a Clear Channel.

This is an awesome first message for the beginning of my Daily Angel Message Blog.

What is a channel? A channel is a pathway for something to flow through. Now, this pathway can be either a physical, emotional or spiritual one. If we are talking physical, then let's focus on our own body's anatomical pathways - our bronchial airways, our ventricles, our vessels, our veins and arteries, our tubes and elimination passages. All these areas in our bodies are channels for life force, blood, fluid, air, food or waste to pass through.

These channels can get blocked up if we are not careful. Are we aware of the importance of keeping these channels as clear and open as possible? Let's take our attention to these pathways and show some gratitude and appreciation for them being a supportive and necessary aspect to our health well-being, and allow them in turn, some space to expand, widen and contract naturally with ease and flow.

Our emotional channels are not so concrete to explain. These channels are our linked to our chakras, the emotional energy vortexes in our bodies, and our not so quantifiable feelings. These include (starting from the crown), our awareness, our sensory perception, intuition, vision, hearing, understanding, communication, expression, love and compassion, our gut feelings, our identity. These channels are our emotional barometers and can guide us in ways that allow for our growth, safety, and knowledge. When we allow these channels to become blocked, we are not being honest, authentic or loving. This can contribute to feeling stuck, rigid, insensitive and dissatisfied. So, to open these channels takes some time, energy and awareness. Take your attention to allow your emotions the freedom to flow and recognise that you are in control of how to deal with them. Do you acknowledge them, let them go or stuff them back inside for another time? What are your emotions trying to communicate to you? Allow them some space to talk to you.

We also have our spiritual channel. This is our ultimate connection to a collective mind, a supreme intelligence, the universe, God(dess), the all that is~ness, the source, the essence of who you truly are, your higher and all knowing self, a cosmic consciousness. This connection is not at all quantifiable. It is just a channel that exists on faith, trust and awareness. This is the channel that takes you to the places that nothing else can take you. When you are ready for the channel to open and plug in to the magic, then the pathway will be illuminated one step at a time.

There is a final channel, which is the channel of inspiration and purpose. What have YOU been born to do? Your USP, if you like... This is best described by Martha Graham, a pioneer of modern dance and a choreographer:

"There is a vitality, a life-force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not yours to determine how good it is; nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep the channel open."

Become the clear channel that is uniquely you, and shine this flowing energy into the world as a unique and creative expression of life force that is truly and lovingly YOU.

Noisy Entrance

09/14/2011 14:12:00

We are born into an institution and a system where we are injected, labelled, categorised and monitored. Then we are stamped, contracted and certified into a society with no obvious get out clause. we immediately become a statistic, a number and a value.

We are issued with an identity, a mask and a code of conducts and behaviours. We are doctrined, dogmatised and digitised into an age of retribution and tribulation.

We are immediately bombarded with external stimuli and sensory overload to distract from the source of truth, love and expanded consciousness. This external noise serves as a ready distraction so we begin to learn to forget, to forget where we came from, forget who we really are, and what we already know.

We start again, this time with new rules, different regulations, alternative opinions, conflicting points of view, contrasting lessons and a focus on the separation.

We are encouraged to focus on and exposed to stereotyping on many levels: racial, gender, sexual orientation, class, political, social, economic. We are catapulted with information on all levels, visual, auditory, sensory. Surrounded by technological equipment, social networking, immediate communication, media power and hype, advertising, marketing, new, current affairs, past affairs, global affairs, economics, discussion, debate, conflict and contrast. The pace is fast, furious and constant.

Our over stimulated egotistical world is filled with drama, soap operas, celebrity futility, sensationalism, medication, thought desensitising substances, dogma and religion, profit, greed, control and fear.

However.

We are born with a salvation.

We are born with the ability to choose. We have a choice as to whether we subscribe to the egotistical world, do we simply observe and accept it, or do we engage with it?

Do we choose to flip our attention inwards to the world inside. The inner world of serenity, knowledge, peace, love, inner power, wisdom, happiness, purity and creative magic.

The irony is that we are never made aware that we have a choice. This is something we happen to discover on our journey through life, at some point. We have a tiny voice that squeaks inner wisdom. We just need to stop to pay attention and listen carefully, then we hear the whisper.

When you remove the stimulus, the noise, the distraction, the occupier, the mind sitter, the entertainer, the joker, the drama, then what is left?

Boredom? What is boredom? Boredom is a blessing. When your child says that they are bored, seize this moment. Boredom is what a modern-day child feels when they have forgotten that they have an imagination. So, this is a perfect opportunity to remind them.

We are a nation of magicians. Find some boredom in your life today.

Twins of Logic and Wisdom

08/15/2011 09:48:00

Once upon a time, there lived two twin brothers. One called Logic, and one Wisdom. Both were good, dutiful and very happy. They were very cheerful children, inseparable, and did everything together without much thought or feeling and life just seemed to tick along nicely.

One day, they were asked a question by a grown up. "Which of you is the leader?" They looked confused, they looked perplexed, the looked at each other and frowned. This was a question that they did not seem to have an answer to.

This question seemed to spark something inside the boys. Logic thought long and hard about it, and categorically decided that he must be the leader, as he was the one who always had the great ideas, and was the one with all the intelligence, and the one who made the best decisions, based on fact and analysis. He made a choice that he was the leader, and this is what he would tell his brother.

Wisdom, on the other hand felt things deeply, and went into a silent retreat when this question was posed. He was feeling a range of emotions that he had never come across before, and was enjoying these new feelings and throwing himself into being at one with them and allowing them to rise and fall like the inhalation and exhalation of breath, naturally, with ease and flow.

When Logic announced he was to be the leader from now on, Wisdom smiled and said, "You can only be a leader if you have a follower".

Logic, perplexed and said "Well, you are my follower, surely?"

Wisdom smiled again and said "I am not a follower, but I am not a leader either. I am none of these things."

Logic, now extremely outraged, feeling very belittled and undermined stormed off in a rage, all the while looking behind to see if Wisdom would follow. He didn't. Logic kept glancing around furtively, expectantly, and the non appearance of his brother angered him more and more. He spent hours pacing the floor, complaining to himself, acting out his inner battle of what was right and what was wrong, weighing things up in his mind, pro's and con's, listing the for's and against's. He played out his inner dilemma of debate and discussion, over and over, going over and over the same thing.... Until. He stopped. He was exhausted, so tired and so drained from himself. He fell to the floor, and slept, reluctantly.

While this drama was going on, Wisdom sat, observing, allowing the situation to just be as it is. He did not try and cajole, tempt, force or change anything. He let the situation unfold as it was going to without making a sound. His silence and apparent nonchalance seemed to create a sense of calm and stillness, and this is what seemed to be in the air as Logic awoke.

Wisdom slowly rose to his feet, slowly and surely and began to walk down the path. He walked in a calm way, not looking back, not caring whether he was being followed. He was confident, self assured and strong. Logic arose to his feet and saw Wisdom walking, and began to follow. He started to feebly mutter to Wisdom about how he should have been the leader, and how he felt much better qualified to be the one in charge. Wisdom just stopped still in his tracks and turned to Logic and said "Logic, please walk with me, by my side, as an equal, and then we can both lead the way".

"When you start to follow your heart, the head always follows. When you start to follow your head, you leave your heart behind."

Pressure Cooker

08/01/2011 00:31:00

My pledge to do a 30 day blog everyday has now come to an end. I kept it up for pretty much most of the month until the other day, but then I lost it for a few days and gave up the ghost and relinquished my ability to fulfil this promise. Now, do I beat myself up and berate myself for failing, for being disloyal, for letting the side down? Or do I just say "Oh well, I gave it a good go, and it's really no biggie in the grand scheme of things?

I say "No Biggie!"

I am not going to give you any reasons, or try and worm my way out of it, or wriggle and writhe until I fit into a comfortable space of reasonable explanation or justification.

I give myself permission to "fail"... because I really don't see it as a failing, I see it as a reflection of my character and who I am and how I operate. In fact, I have learnt something very valuable about pressure.

I have learnt that when I feel like I am required to act out of duty or obligation, this rings up massive amounts of resistance in me. I feel pressure, and this makes me feel squashed and stifled.

So, even though I love writing, and it flows easily in an effortless way, the fact that I felt I had to do it, made me not want to do it. So, does this mean that I can only fulfil a task if I don't attach any condition to it?

Now that I don't have to do it, I wonder if I will do it with love and total willingness? Will I be a happier and more frequent blogger if I am coming from a place passion, rather than pressure? Also, who was the pressure from? No one was forcing me to do this, I just came up with this 30 day blog concept myself, so it was completely self-made pressure!

Do I really need to be placing pressure on myself in these times where we are immersed and clouded and submerged with social, family, media, personal, political, environmental, financial, cosmetic, domestic pressures... to name but a few!

Also, I wonder if you are probably thinking, "Well, if you can't even do something simple like commit to writing a blog for 30 days consistently, there's not much hope for you, love!"

And to this, I reply... Hope for what? Success? Ticking Boxes? Sense of achievement? Accomplishment? Well, all I know is that everything I do, say, or think has a significance. There is always something to learn, something to observe, something to ponder upon and to grow from, and this deep examination comes not only from "doing" things, but also from NOT doing things.

So, by not completely "succeeding" in my task, I have succeeded in revealing an aspect of myself that I can make peace with. This aspect is called BOREDOM!

I get bored and irritated easily when I have to do something or be with someone that I feel a duty or an "obligation" towards. Obligation to me now, translates as inauthenticity. So, thankfully, the emotion of boredom, has now taught me that when I feel it I can use it as a reminder and opportunity to change the dynamic. To create a new space, or boundary based on honesty, integrity, passion and truth. It's a blessing to be able turn a blind and unconscious duty into a visible conscious action.

This realisation is one that I will take forwards into my life from now on. I will not just think before I act, but I will feel. I will ask the important question of "how do I feel?", and report and offer my feelings as a platform for my actions. When I offer my feelings, I place myself in a vulnerable but completely open position, where there are no hiding places, there are no nooks and crannies for sneaky marbles of deception, guilt, remorse, or resentment can roll off into and get stuck. Being vulnerable and completely open like a delicate flower in bloom is a beautiful part of me that is natural and conscious.

This is me. Stripped down, naked and at your mercy. I have allowed the steam to escape from my pressure cooker, my lid is off, and I am now cooling down and will soon be ready to be served up and devoured.

Double Whammy!

07/24/2011 21:57:00

This is yesterday's and today's blog in one... A close friend said something to me that really struck me and has left me really pondering. She said that the people in your life that you have the most problems with, the ones that really push your irritation buttons and pull your triggers of irritated reaction, are the very same people that you have had a soul contract with to help you wake up.

Each interaction that could be perceived as negative or toxic are really opportunities for us to see our shadow sides and our darker sides, to actually make an informed choice whether to release it or grow from it or to see it for what it is. Each negative experience can be seen as a wake up call. So, we can, with this in mind, actually thank and bless those who we are usually cursing!

Hmmm... I'll try it and see what happens!

Tidy up!

07/22/2011 22:34:00

Day one of the Summer holidays and what does this teach me? Well, when I set myself an agenda for how I am to feel, this seems to just fall by the wayside after a while, when the guards drop. Let me give you an example. I awoke and immediately braced myself for a day of children, full on children. I thought, I must remain calm, I must be patient, I must be zen! So, all morning I thought... Wow, I am doing well, this isn't so bad.

The poor kids were stuck in the flat while I waited for a delivery, so by lunchtime, things were getting slightly louder than I could cope with... But, on the day went, and through my gritted smile, I asked if they could tidy their room? Now, what follows was the interesting bit. In my asking of this request, my thoughts were, "they hate tidying up, they will fight, and it will go horribly wrong". So, my expectation was extremely negative. I went downstairs to finish off something I was doing, and it was all rather peaceful upstairs. Half an hour later I walked into their room to see how it was all going, and it was like a bomb had gone off. Everything, absolutely everything from the whole room had been pulled into a pile into the middle of the floor. And they look up and say " Erm, we need some help!"... So, I then say I'll help... and start tidying, sorting and putting away, while they just bugger off down stairs... Whilst I am tidying and sorting I am resenting every second... This resentment and anger seems to be building up until I see red, and turn into a madwoman, exclaiming how I cannot believe that a nine and eight year old have no concept or clue of how to tidy up... And how they just take me for granted, and how I am not their slave, and how it's not fair that I have to do everything, and how selfish they are... On and on... Until silence fell over the whole place.

I then felt awful. The boys were very sorry, and I think I learned that all I need to do is offer them more and more opportunity to be more independent and do things for themselves, as they are totally capable. I'm not saying I need to run the home like a boot camp, but a few sharing jobs and responsibilities wouldn't go amiss. I need to remember that by doing things for an easy life is an illusion, as the ease now, will only perhaps turn into difficulty later.

Finally, it is interesting how the lessons are delivered through my thoughts - so I thought that this would go wrong, and when it did, I got angry, and then through the wrongness, there came an insight, emerged the rightness. So, all in all - a great day!